Monday, July 2, 2012

Human Soul Found in Graveyard!

Can you believe that a groundhog could single-handedly exhume a human being? Believe it or not, a pair of metal coffin handles were found recently near a grave next to a groundhog hole in one particular cemetery (whose name will go unmentioned). The sole of the deceased’s shoe appeared on the ground near the hole the very next day!

Whoops  - seems as though I misspelled 'sole' in the title of this blog (caught your attention, though, didn't  I?). When I was in Catholic grade school and the nuns told us about our souls, I actually pictured its shape, and it was close to that in the photo above. Pre-cognitive dissonance, I suppose. Anyway, the beast in question apparently decided it was easier to clear out the current tenant's belongings (along with the current tenant) and move in, than to dig an entirely new apartment. What an embarrassing situation for a cemetery! And what to do about it?

You've walked through cemeteries and have seen the holes, no doubt. Maybe you've even seen the elusive critters themselves - woodchucks, groundhogs, gophers - whatever you want to call them. What people don't realize is that the destruction wrought by these beasties can be overwhelming. Farmers are sometimes plagued with groundhog infestations, as are some unfortunate people with nice lawns. You can’t seal the hole, as the groundhog will just dig another one (plus, they always have auxiliary tunnels). Therefore, the animal must be removed. Now, as you try not to think of scenes from the movie Caddyshack (in which Bill Murray wages a one-man-war against the gophers infesting a golf course), how do you eradicate the beast? The easy thing to do, of course, is to hire someone else to do it.

Services exist for you to employ on the web, for both live-trapping and, well, let's just say, a more permanent solution. I was going to include videos in this blog, but most of those available on YouTube show a couple hillbillies plugging the varmints with a .022 rifle or blowing them up with explosives (feel free to search them out, if you're in the mood). Yikes. So glad I live in the city (Philadelphia) and don't have a lawn!